In a world full of social media tire kickers, seek decision-makers, not information-seekers.
I said that on my Facebook page today. And I probably made instant enemies. Decision makers don’t want to be warmed up. They want solutions. And yes this comment may be controversial, but you have to be weary of “CEOs” “Presidents” and “Managing Partners” who are only seeking information. They are not action takers, they are window shoppers and time wasters.
In the first part of my entrepreneurial journey, I didn’t have to do Discovery Calls. My services were pretty cut and dry. I provided staffing services to companies. Most times hey already knew what they needed, so aside from a brief phone conversation, they were ready to sign the contract. As I started shifting away from staffing and more into consulting and business coaching (which I no longer do), it became more about me proving who I was and what I could do.
In the beginning of that transition I didn’t mind doing calls and meeting people. Eventually though it became a bother. Not because I thought I was above answering questions and making sure there was a fit. It was because people started taking advantage.
And then came the book and the Forbes article (No, You Can’t Pick My Brain). I had reached a boiling point because of all of the time I was used. People really felt they could ak advantage of me and use me as a walking breathing Google! It came to a head one day when a woman asked me to meet for coffee. She said she was interested in working with me. No problem, I set up the meeting.
She came to the Starbucks armed with a notebook and pen…and a recorder. Hold on, wait a minute. I was shocked and a little offended. She wanted to “pick my brain” and get advice on steps she needed to take in her business. She had no intention of working with me. Needless to say I ended that meeting and never saw her again. Do you know how much balls a person has to have to set up a meeting, then show up with a pen, pad and recorder? She found out quickly that I was not that b**** that day.
This is a form of boundary violation disguised as interest.
Do you know how many 15 minute Discovery Calls turned into one to one and a half hour conversations that did not result in a closed deal? Do you know how many “can we meet for coffee” requests turned into one to two hour conversations where the deal was still not closed? People want to waste your time. If they truly have a need and are ready to solve their problem, they will not need calls and meetings.
Now don’t get me wrong. I fully take the blame for the situations. encountered. That was before I had boundaries. Actually, I’m lying. I did meet with a woman at a restaurant a few months back and soon found myself careening down that “pick my brain” slope again. She could not afford my services so we parted ways with a To-Do list of all the things she had to do before she could work with me. I got a few calls and text messages after that asking for more guidance and another meeting. I declined. I think she finally gets the message now.
Setting boundaries is a necessity. I don’t care what they say about you or try to pull, keep those boundaries. Otherwise people will take advantage. I honestly believe Discovery Calls are designed for people to take advantage. Tire kickers will try you. But you have to create a process that eliminates or at least greatly reduces that happening to you.
If you’ve set up your content and your website properly, all their questions will be answered already. Stop wasting time on free Discovery Calls, especially if you don’t have a screening mechanism in place. I am quick to send someone to my calendar link. I have a screener in place that will deter tire kickers and brain pickers. However, people do lie sometimes, as with the example of the woman I met mentioned above.
Make your screener as stringent as possible. You’re trying to attract the right people. So let the process and the language cause people to self-reject. Don’t let anyone guilt you by accusing you of gatekeeping. I openly admitted that I do gate keep. Not everything is meant for everyone. This is probably where I get cussed out, but I don’t care. You gift, your expertise is how you eat. And how dare anyone get upset by you protecting that.
I don’t want you to experience what I went through, so I’m sharing some tips to help minimize or eliminate these brain picking setups.
Redefine the Discovery Call
The first mistake? Treating a Discovery Call like a miniature coaching or consulting session. A Discovery Call is a mutual qualification conversation. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s not an opportunity to troubleshoot someone’s business for free.
On your booking or calendar page, confirmation emails, and reminders, add clear language:
“This 15-minute call is strictly to determine if we’re the right fit to work together. It is not a coaching or strategy session.”
This sets the expectation before you even get on a call or meet in person.
Shrink the Call Time
If you’re offering 30-minute or 60-minute Discovery Calls, stop. Stop it right now. All that time signals there’s room to pick your brain.
Unapologetically reduce that time to 15 minutes, max. Here’s the structure:
- 1–2 minutes: quick rapport, clarify purpose
- 3–7 minutes: ask qualifying questions
- 8–10 minutes: next steps (proposal or paid session)
The shorter the call, the tighter the conversation, and the fewer freeloaders you’ll attract. Yes, I said freeloaders.
Use a Pre-Qualifying Form
Before anyone gets access to my calendar, they must complete a pre-call intake form. This is my filtering tool. A few strategic questions help me assess:
- Are they serious about investing to solve their problem?
- Is their problem something I solve?
- Are they just browsing?
If they’re not aligned, I decline the call. No guilt, no explanation. You should do the same. Calendly and Acuity both offer the ability to include screening questions. Take advantage of that!
CHARGE for Strategy
If someone wants to go deeper, they can book a paid Strategy Session on the spot. Period.
Think of it like this. The Discovery Call is the front door. The working session is inside the house. That’s where the real expertise happens, and where the real invoice gets sent. Even a modest price point separates the committed from the curious.
Redirect the Brain Pickers
Some people just don’t get it. When they try to sneak in “quick questions” or veer into consultation territory, I calmly redirect them. I’ll say “That’s a great question. I actually cover that in a (podcast or article) I created. I’ll send you the link after our call.”
Then I send them to a link to something I’ve written or talked about on my podcast that answers their question. It stops the energy drain while still serving them on your terms. Don’t let them waste your time!
Assert Your Boundaries Without Guilt
I’m a firm believer that you teach people how to treat you. And when you tolerate brain picking, you tell the world your expertise is free. It’s not.
When people push past the stated call purpose, I let them know “This call is designed to see if we’re a good fit. If you’d like a deeper conversation, I offer paid Strategy Sessions. Would you like the link?”
If they say no, the call ends on time. No hard feelings, just clean boundaries.
Bonus Tip: Close It Like You Mean It
Don’t end the call with a vague, “I’ll follow up.” Instead, try “Here’s what happens next: I’ll send over the proposal. If you’re ready to move forward, we can begin this week. If not, that’s totally fine.” Don’t chase anyone!
This flips the dynamic and positions you as the prize.
You’ve worked too hard and built too much to give it away to strangers on for free. When someone books a Discovery Call with you, it should be a step toward paid engagement, not an opportunity to pick your brain for nothing.
Protect your time. Guard your expertise. And stop letting people pick your brain unless they’re ready to invest in the whole mind. Remember, this is how you eat.
So set your system up so that people self-eliminate and that only the truly qualified make it through the process. You’ll thank me later. Don’t let anyone steal your time and talents from you.
Adrienne Graham
CEO|Founder
Mogul Chix®
Connect with me here or over on Linked In.
©2025 Adrienne Graham and Mogul Chix®. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adrienne Graham and Mogul Chix® with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.